Essay 1  Part II  Due September 7

You have been given a patchwork of paragraphs with one of yours in the lead.  Don't fight these new ideas and new paragraphs--even if they don't fit comfortably with your old essay plan.  Make this new combination work together.  Remember that you can connect the most diverse topics if you use the right glue.

Take some risks, add what examples you need for proper balance, cut extraneous material, and keep your eye on the final product--a smooth, seamless paper.

Requirements for Part II

Follow original requirements for Part I plus the following additions:

• Keep main ideas from added paragraphs.  Don't switch to new choices.  You may alter the order of these paragraphs, but you must retain the core ideas.
• Keep examples from added paragraphs making the necessary alterations for essay consistency--gender references, paragraph balance, additional support etc.
• Rewrite the body paragraphs for a smooth, seamless essay.
• Then write a new introduction and conclusion which reflect your new content.
• Have a new, complete draft ready for peer review on Wednesday, Aug 31 (a graded activity)
• Then between the peer review day and the due date, revise your document at least one more time--this is the document you submit for a grade
• Also submit your revised document to turnitin.com and include the receipt in your folder (remember that turnitin submission is required BEFORE I can grade your paper)

In your final folder include

•  The collaborative paragraph collection you received--that photocopied sheet I gave you--showing early editing
•  The working draft you presented for peer review (handwritten or typed)
•   Your peer review comments
•   Your final document
•   Your turnitin receipt

Pay attention to

Focus:  The requirement is first or third person, so stay away from "you."  

Consistency:  Sentences should flow and read as though they are all from one writer--no bumps from 1 paragraph to another.

Verbs and Pronouns:  Stay in present tense for your commentary, though examples can be in the past if transitions are clear. 

                                    Watch agreement--both verbs and pronouns.

Transitions:  Make sure your transitions are smooth, without obvious labeling.  Watch repetition.  It can be effective, but only when

                     it is done right.  Don't just rephrase and repeat for filler.